A dream on my mind …would it be true ?

Maybe I am too greedy but I feel by God's compassion and I believe of His mercy , I seek too much from Him , but hopefully I won't be kind of person who turns his/her back when God gives them a need And instead of thanking Him, forgets and think of what can be better that I couldn't get!
I wonder who am I in those, I hope that I would be settled and God 's mercy would lead me to the right path always.

I have to admit that I felt by God's mercy a lot on me, walking in the road, driving in the street , everything I feel that God is protecting me ISA.

After long search of job and a long time and I got patient for a long time , God helped me in finding a good job elhamdAllah (Thanks God) , as every thing else I felt that I should be patient and God would reward me and gives me what I will like , hopefully I will be ISA.

What I am wondering now or a dream in my mind, is about finding my partner, but not any partner , I don't know why , but maybe after I broke , and I got hurt and then I met some people, I am looking forward that my partner would be some one who Makes it up for me , and I mean it . Some one whom I admire and get impressed with and have an overwhelming happiness while I am with him , enjoying his company, his talk , appreciating his personality that lasts and not seasonal , and the same would be for him . Too much right ?

I am writing this because whenever time passes, I start to say to myself maybe …., but I wish from God that He would generously give something that I get content with.

And whenever some one sets me for n arranged marriage, I feel like, what do I really want? Hopefully God gives me what I feel I need and satisfied and makes me a person who has self content.

Good news

I wanted to write this post from a while but I had no time what so ever to sit down and write on the computer!

The good news is that I found a good job elhamdAllah (Thanks God) at last , after a very long search. I started from 2 weeks exactly , just after I returned from the omrah.

The job I was looking forward for it very much from 2 months , I applied in it and they called me for an interview before the omra , and then they sent me the letter of intent and after that I travelled , to start my job immediately after I returned. I didn't have time to rest :)

I didn't realize that working raises my mood and spririt to that extent , actually I am used to be busy by something , can't stay empty.
But also, I have been staying at home for months , so I must say that I needed some time to regain my energy and can do many things at the same time , it is like I feel consumed but hopefully I will get used to the every day working effort and can get back to my normal activities day by day , pray for me every body in my new job:)

We still need more efforts

The more we pas by charity houses and you get involved to see how many needy people who need food, or shelter or education or a medical treatment, what can i say " ElhamdAllah elazy 3fana mema ebtalah khatheeran men 3bedah ".

Even more what happens all over the world from disasters who need all our help , either through paying or donations, or even by doing voluntary work.

I was happy to see and feel the sense of intimacy for all the people that we may feel by them , and for those who are in Pakistan , after the earthquake that occured there lately.

But what after that ? sometimes I see donations are more than ever and the tables serving food are almost in every street and the families are taking bags of food usually in Ramadan . But what after ramadan ?

Would we stop donating ? would we stop praying for the needy people ? Even if we did , may be not with the same strong will that we had before.

But I realize that people may need efforts after ramadan because there are no tables serving food for ever needy person passing by the street.
I wish if there can be a sustainable project all over the year.

But let us say simply , we can just put for ourselves a minimum by which we can do every month , adopting a case or two where we can give them what we can periodically or monthly , not a must in terms of money but we have as well . There could be extra clothes , shelter , medicine that this case or two may need. To keep our eyes and our hearts and minds of others as well.

The Trip

The trip was very nice elhamdAllah, the omrah was great , It was not the first time for me , I went before, but first time in the last 13 days in Ramadan. I must of say it was crowded, but if you just don't let the feelings of too much crowdedness and tiredness overcome you , you will enjoy the great sense of spirituality. You will even feel better that you went during this time, because you are automatically occupied with prayers all the time , either the night prayers (Taraweeh) or Tahajed prayers ( the prayers that start at 1 Am) so you are totally occupying your time in worshiping God.

The first say in "Madina" City , where prophet Mohammed (PBUH) is buirred, during the first day while I was walking to his mosque during the maghrab (dawn) prayer, and every one is distributing on me , bottles of mineral water, dates, other sorts of food, almost every one was distributing while I was walking there to the mosque... a nice feeling right?

Wonder if we can distribute food and drink after Ramadan to the needy people at least , so that it won't be only a one moth shot where every one donates by his / her means and then takes a rest till the next Ramadan.

Then the second and the third days, I managed ElhamdAllah to visit the prophet's (PBUH) tomb where he is buirred.

There is a hadith that who visits him while he is dead as if he visited him while he was alife and that when some one goes there and says to him " salamo Alaykom" , he returns the salam back to us.
This feeling I got while I was doing that could be undescrible. I hear about him , I believe of him , but the feeling that he was that close , was something else.

Going to Mecca, it was more crowded than Madina much more, where the Holy house is located , I liked the Tawaf (moving around the house 7 times ) , I liked doing it the most thing over there. When I went before, during uncrowded times, I managed to see the feet prints of Prophet's Ibrahim and Ismail (Peace Be upon them ) on one of the rocks that they were standing above during building the house.

In the last night prayers , 29th Ramadan night , it was more crowded , like 3 millions praying at the same time, must of say that even when it was croded but I liked watching all these people together praying at the same time. Hope that it would remain and won't be just for one day.

I liked to introduce to people over there, I liked to get introduced to different nationalities , maybe the blogging helped me in that:)

Back

Thanks all for the nice comments that you left me, I was happy to see them when I was back.

I was in Mecca doing omrah in the last 13 days in ramadan , I and doshar, (my sis) :). And it was very nice elhamdAllah and hope that Rabena yetakabal. I remembered the blogging over there, wherever anything happens that leave a remark to me , I say to myself , Well I will blog about that ! as I remembered most of you in my prayers especially those who have something up with them. Hope you enjoyed Ramadan here and the eid as well.


Well i will blog about it later in more details, when i gather up my thoughts

I hpe to do Hajj too soon , I feel better when i do these obediences in my youth , we 3okbalkom too enshaAllah :)
Missed you all :)