enough analysis!!

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Prayers for the dead people in Dahab Blast

May God have mercy on their souls and give patience for their families


Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Emotions Fullfillment

These days we are working on keeping the jobs we have , I am working in some interesting areas these days , for this sake . I don;t know , I used to before recently to be very satisfied when I do some sort of work like that cause i feel my recognition then.

But there is something lacking inside me , and I feel it . I really lack the emotions ! Thanks God I have more emotions than so many do , I have my family at least elhamdaAllah and they are so loving and caring . May God reward them all the good for beimg so good with me ISA. I have my life and friends. But i still do lack the emtinal thing towards some one . It is getting too much on me these days. I feel it when I find someone who I know that he won't work out because he is married or whatever , but if i like him a bit , I feel by change in my spirit and then I realize why am I very happy then ! and then I get upset because I feel that it is not true nd should not be like that ! So the desperate feeling comes to me when i meet someone i feel good towards and happy for talking with him after wards immediately I tell myself now it is fake , it is all built on unreality. I pity myslef that I can get happy by something like that honestly . i wish if i can have some more strentgh ameen. It is not a matter of age as much it is a metter of state that comes over me and I don't know how to stop. Can our lives be standing for that ? and what about the couples who find out that their partners are not really whom they were dreaming off? There is no way back then , I know it is no way to be realistic that all the couples and married people relations all teh time full of emmtions but to an extent , it is after all suppose to be built on good basis. any way just felt that i need to spell it out from my spirit

Friday, April 07, 2006

Looking for something ?

I don't know what is going with me these days, or at least the last month. I am back from my home to check my work email , feel happy that I got some mails , even if it was for work , I just feel by sort of interaction that I like to do . I like reacting and having intractions among people. So that is why I check my work email , used to be happy when I find something , sme one asks me about something or some one notifying me by anything. Even the forwards I like to see !

Same goes for my personal mails , the yahoo and the hotmail, when I find someone sending me a personal message , I get so happy , I feel ...
EVen the forwards are so much better that zero message , it makes me really feel lonely.

I Really don't know why. I do have a life , I go work , I like it ElhamdAllah (Thanks God), I have my family and friends elhamdAllah , Then what ?

I don't see my best friends alot but that was the case before , so what is wrong ? why do I feel lonely or am I translating it by that, or seeking any sort of attention or interaction via mail , while I do have elhamdAllah a real life and people I do interact with in real life.

I think I should not think why as much as if I am feeling lonely to try to be fine ISA.
Maybe I should need to tell myself : enough analysis :))

UnKnown Situation

These days hmm are quite ambigious, in an unknown situation actually.
I came work one day where they told me ( the manager and my colleagues ) we will have a celebration , so I said Great! Then there are great news!!
And they actually ordered two cakes and invited the whole program I am working in , so I said to myself what are these great news , are we gonna get all promotion all or what ?

Then the manager had a meeting with us where he told me that for some reasons the division me and my colleagues we are working in has to close , but not the whole program , and not because of the bad performance but because of some conflicts that happened with the top management.

Anyways, They told us that they will try to reallocate the staff and the resources to other divisions if the activities can marge with other divisions !!! I really don't know fr what he was ce;ebrating , then I knew he miunderstood the message where he invited everyone and then he knew the fact where he can't go back from his invitation

Well , I have some hope that this would be sorted out as they really want to , but what is weird that I was fine and I had hopes that this will be sorted out in a way that God who makes it up for us.
I had some offers in the past few months and I declined because I like my work and Because I am very emotional, I get attached to the place and the people that I can;t rethink of other place at least in the mean time.

So hopefully these offers came early and not in the time where i knew the division is closing for some good reasons ISA.

What is weird that we dont know still our situation , the uncertainity is not agood feeling , shall I start looking for other jobs or shall I wait ? May be it will be sorted out , as I said I am emotionally attached by the place now.

If it is gonna be over, well I would like to know to make serious steps , and if not well I hope to know so as to relax, anyways the uncertainity itself is not nice.

It is true that nothing can be taken for granted in our lives , there was no problem in the day before and just the day after , they told me about work

Hope it turns to best ISA