Monaliza Smile
I wateched a movie from a while called Monalize Smile , it was starting by Julia Robers, regardless of the movie itself idea, but i liked a statement that was mentioned by one of the girls when she was making a debate with her mother in the movie,
the mother was trying to convince the girl to keep up her marriage although it was turning miserable and she wasnt happy , for the sake that her image would be fine
the girl replied (by what it means), commenting on her image in the society by comparing her self with monaliza picture, saying that monalize looks smiling , she looks happy , but is she really happy ?
this statement i liked for so many reasons, for me i alaways face situations that we should do things (i am not talking about right and wrong ) , just to satisfy the social image , what about us , are we happy by that ? do we really want it ? and what about if what we really need and want is weired for the society surrounding us, because we arent fullfilling the social image.
so many aspects are like that , for example, if you went and you prepared your home, it should of a certian style that people see it is fame from their point of view, if you choose something to do or someone you want to be with, you have to think whether this will be acceptable in the society ,m does the image looks fine or not ?
maybe not all the people are like but there are so many aspects when i think about them ,i find that big part of my decision is built on the social image and how it will be seen . is it acceptable? does it look fine ? does it look nice ? what about me ? shouldnt it have the first priority .
i am not saying that we should go and do wrong behaviors or to put ourself under suspection from people and society , no , i am talking about the social image , without being suspected in your behaviour,.
posted by roora @ 4:04 PM
9 Comments:
I've seen this movie a while ago and I absolutely loved it! It is true the image society makes of us is often very important. But when it comes to hiding your being unhappy, the reasons my be different abit. Some say that you should not show your sorrow in order not to bring the people who see it down. It is not their problem and it should not affect them. If it's joy, you should share it, cause maybe someone going through a rough moment will feel better when seing you smile.
yeah i agree with you , people should not see your problems, all the way. we should not really cokplain all the times , i dont like complaining peope all the times.
but i am saying that you go on in things , just because you will look happy infront of people , you got me ?
and yeah as you mentioned the image of society makes of us is often very important
we are part of society yes, but as we tolerate society , society has to tolerate us. it should not judge us or decide what is good for us. because it simply can not make us happy. it can make us unhappy sometimes though. care for the part of the society that is rational and also considers you. the part that does not care if you are really happy or not, just disregard (if you can)
Society.. Considering society is something we should "only" do (from my point of view) in terms of not harming others. COnsidering their feelings, and not being menace. But where what concerns you, it is "Only" your business and not any others.
Choosing your house in a style just to consider how your friends and family will see it rather than what will make you happy is something not right. You should choose what will make you happy even if it means a bunch of carpets and some big cutions on the ground and whatever else will make you happy is what is important. YOU ARE the one who will live in that house, not society! People shoudl not fear other's opinions, especially if it is something within your own realm! YOUR own space. YOu are not invading other's space, it is yours, so there fore u r free to use it as u wish as long as u r not tresspassing on other people's own private space!
About feelings and showing them or not. I believe that if u r sad be sad, show it, u needn't pressure urself to smiling if u don't feel like it. on the contrary to kayla, i believe that it is those moments that true colors of people will show. A true friens will make every endeavor to give support and those who don't are the ones that don't really matter. But you should not load urself into looking or acting something just for people. the only thing u should not do, is take ur state, of sadness or anger for instance OUT ON PEOPLE.. Major differnece. Just be yourself. I feel this is more natural.
Kayla, i understand what u mean about making someone feeling better when they see you smile, but what about your own self? I am not being selfish, but really what about one's own need? It is good to make people smile, but what if that person manages to make others smile, but still not feel any better? Who will make that poor sad person smile in turn if they really need support at that very minute? Do you know that sadness can reach to an extent it can affect a person physiologically leading to disease? A scientific research says that at moments of sorrow or anger the body releases posionouse toxins affecting the internal organs of a human?
Roora, my advise is BE YOURSELF. DO what makes u comfortable as long as it is not harming others. that is the only condition you should stick to. (my opinion)
the example of a miserable wife staying miserable just because of what society will think of her if she gets divorced is in my opinion a very unwise thing to do. If she is miserable she will stay miserable and her life will get worse and if she goes ahead and has kids, it'll get worse, because in turn her kids will become miserable too. Getting a divorce is ok as long as all the means and methods to save a marrige have failed. It is simply a question of comatibility..Society will not help much if one partner is miserable, it'll only affect that person and in turn the other.. So what good is this marriage to society? It'll only be a weak segment in society. So where society is concerned, that segment will affect it in a negative sense rather than a postitive one. What all societies need are fruitful and productive individuals, and these come from psychologically stable homes.
I hope i said something uselful here!
"Kayla, i understand what u mean about making someone feeling better when they see you smile, but what about your own self? " - well, I do feel better when I see people smiling.
Roora, I think we should all learn to make a difference between showing less of our problems to others and letting the others decide how we should live. The others, for example, shouldn't always know how messy a divorce is, but the fact that they don't approve of divorces shouldn't matter in our decision. Do you see my point?
Dallula, the outside world will never comfort you the way you needed. There's an amount of closeness needed for that. But seing nothing but sad faces can bring you down more..
Sorry for the mis-spelling of your name, am a bit sleepy! :)
no problems kayla.. we all mess up in spellings sometimes.
I understand your point about not getting into details with those who are not close..But what i mean is if something makes you upset like this divorce issue for instance, then go get a divorce, do not sit worrying about what people will think or not think, it is none of their business and it certainly should not give them a right to look with contempt at a woman for being divorced.
when you are furnishing "your" house where "you" will be living, furnish it according to what will make you happy and not your visitors.
Do you get my point?
doshar, dallula, kayla,
thanks a lot for your comments , it really made me feel better, i understand what you mean kayla and i agree with you about the very close person is the one who can make it up for me , we should not have gloomy faces all the way in minor and large issues.
i was mainly actually concerned by the part the dallula mentioned that sometimes society puts on you pressure to act in a way that looks fine for them even if it is not you and is not wrong and not gona harm them in anything, just for the sake of social outlook.
but yeah i guess we should not give too much account for society as long as we are not hurting them and be who we are.
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