enough analysis!!

Sunday, May 14, 2006


I was inspired by Aisha's post and Ash's comment on losing identity in married relationships. Actually talking is much easier than the real life.

Aisha was saying that some people when they get married, their personalities change and they get isolated. Ash's comment was very interesting that if one of the partners gave up everthing and he/she gave up his/her identity for the sake of the other partner, he/she will have a suucessful life but never fullfillig. .... These words ring a bill to me for some reasons.

I consider myself a bit active, i have my working life , social life, volunterring activities, even my hobbies .. I consider this is all part of me. When i was engaged , even before troubles happen between me and my ex , but I used to feel having good relation but neither fullfilled or fully satisfied. . My friends and everyone was complaining that I became thinking of nothing but him , I gave up all the things I used to do .. no activities at all and i get isolated a bit and he became the center of my thinking.

I didn't really mean to do that .. but just happened to me and I was wondering why am I not fully satisfied? The answer simply is that there are so many aspects in life. Of course there is prioritizing but we should not go to one aspect in life and ignore the rest. For most we should have a role in our community we are living in , our families, comunity in general , towards ourselves, our friends. Each has different priority in his/her life, but definitely life should not be all about waiting for a phone call or going out with my partner. Partners indeed make difference , they are the Sakan " settlement " that we seek by getting married..but we should never overlook the othersides in life that we should think of , in terms of worshipping God.

I thank God on everything, ElhamdAllah. I feel that during this period I get in contact with everything back. I hope that when I get commited again ISA, I would be doing fine .... and not losing my identity.


At 5/25/2006 7:19 AM, Blogger Me said...

I know what you're talking about Roora...I felt that I was starting to drift in that way a little when I was engaged too... but el7amdulilah it didn't last long ;-P
I too hope that in the future this won't happen inshAllah... I'm sure inshAllah that it won't :)

At 7/05/2006 3:57 PM, Blogger Yasmin said...

salaam roora, nice blog! I think it's very important when you get married/engaged to know YOURself first and carry on with the things that make you who you are. After all, a marriage is supposed to be a bond between two people, not something that moulds them both into exactly the same thing. I think that marriages work best when both partners feel happy and complete in themselves before seeking someone to spend the rest of their life with.

At 7/15/2006 2:15 AM, Blogger roora said...

yasmine, welcome here, it is nice to see you here. yeah being happy is the core aim at the end of marriage.

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